Dear Neighbors:

Dear Neighbors Upstairs:

I imagine that there are many things that you need to be hammering at approximately 10 PM on a Wednesday during a Red Sox / Yankees game. I realize you moved in around the same time as us (June) or from Barron's approximations, after.

I realize you may not give a crap about baseball.

I realize maybe you are a Yankees fan and are mad that my beloved Sox are winning.

I realize you may not think that incessant banging is bothering anyone but yourselves.

I realize that it may seem like the best time to hang pictures of yourselves and your friends.

I realize that is may seem like the best time to practice your M.C. "Hammer Time" dance.

Since the only answer I will accecpt to the question, "What is hammered in your apartment" is yourselves, I can only assume that you are answering wrong. Because getting each other hammered does not create the same racket you are.

So PLEASE.

STOP HAMMERING.

Unless you invite me.

xoxo! Shannon

The Birthday surprises JUST KEEP COMING

Well, well, well, lookie here what I received in the mail today! Of ALLLLLL the days to receive such a glorious present from the Master which we call Ticket.

Although you may think that I am mostly excited that I can FINALLY spend a New Years (and not some other adjacent day) with my favorite band in this whole wicked wide vary large universe, I have another reason to celebrate.

Her name is Elizabeth (stop swiping) Shuzman.

Yes, this ticket guarantees I will be seeing her again. And that I will stay in her apartment. And cause a scene.

I love you, Bethy!

P.S. Happy Birthday, I cashed that check you wrote me. MUAHAHAHHAH

Praying for the End of Time

Joe and I had a toast to Miss Elizabeth (stop swiping) today during a beautiful lunch in Boston, which we agreed, was not the same kind of outdoor lunch without her. We are both boycotting indoor lunches until she is able to join us in our cult of patio lunch. Whether you bring your own, are served rooftop (a la The Black Rhino or The Rattlesnake) or EVEN if you bring your own lunch outdoors to the park, we REFUSE to eat lunch indoors until Beth shows up. I am visualizing a trio or more if we can have some sort of "Big Love" agreement arranged, without the bad outfits, hair, and children.

Joe was more than happy to partake in a "Happy Birthday Beth" toast of Sapporo over sushi with me on a beautiful birthday day.

In fact, when I asked him about birthday wished for Beth, this is what he had to say:

"So now I'm praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don't think that I can really survive
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
It's all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!!!"

Happy Birthday Elizabeth!

Happy Birthday Elizabeth! It was only 24 years ago that your mom gave birth to my favorite statistic.

I saw this picture of MJ over 6 months ago, and have been waiting patiently to use it. FINALLY!

Below is a picture of the birthday cake from MJ's sixteenth birthday, which really explains so much when you think about it.


Usually we are together celebrating your birthday at Camp Bisco around this time. I guess we had a good string of weekend birthday's for you, because I remember counting down to midnight as if it were New Year's Eve. I will never forget when I started freaking out about midnight, and it was approximately 10:15. I have never been good with time.

What else can I say on this lovely birthday of yours? It is also Rob's birthday, but yours is obviously more important. Thanks for taking us rafting this past weekend. What a treat! I hope you can come visit us soon, Barron does not appreciate the same fine dining locations that you and I do. Particuarly Annas.

I hope you have a happy day even though we already celebrated. Welcome to year 24 of your life, it is almost time for a quarter-life crisis!

Lots of hugs and kisses to you on your very special birthday.

Love, Shannon

OJ

Last night (while we had guests nonetheless) I walked into the kitchen to find Barron, head tilted back, mouth wide open, orange juice carton pressed to his lips with reckless abandon for contaminating the entire container.

"What, you do it too!" he cried. UNACCEPTABLE! I feel like you are breaking some unwritten code where I can pretend that it doesn't happen as long as I don't see it and also pretend not to notice that there are never juice glasses in the sink despite your claims that you drink orange juice every single day and you MUST have washed your glass immediately upon consumption and dried it and consequently put it away in the cabinet.

He IS right though.

PF Changs

This is the second time I have eaten with my office at P.F. Chang's and immediately returned home and joined the gym. We were taking our intern out for her last day (who was a fantastic intern by the way). Our office has no off switch when it comes to ordering. We should have just said we would take two of everything, because that is basically what happened. Our waiter was horrified, perhaps a little less than our intern. However, the food was spectacular as ever as were the drinks.

Unfortunately, it is considered inappropriate to unbutton your pants and/or skirt and let it all hang out at work, so I opted to go home just to ensure no one would catch me sleeping at my desk at 3pm.

I went home and joined the gym. The guy even offered me a free trial day and I said no, just give me the price, and I will be joining here and there. I sweated it out for an hour and looked like a mess when I got home. Mostly because I was too afraid to ask where the "free towel service" towels were and I just let it pour down my face and neck.

The towels were right next to the front door.

The last time we went to P.F. Chang's was for our office Christmakawanza celebration last January. Although I had already resolved to join the gym and even taken my parents offer to pay for 6-months at B.U.'s facility, I had not yet taken the proper steps. See above story, take out the words "free towel service" and you have the same story.

I guess if I ever need some good motivation, I know who I can turn to.

Dreaming of...

This is EXACTLY what a catterpillar roll should look like.

My grammar crushes

Men banned from national parks after vandalism

PHOENIX—A man from Somerville, Mass., and his friend who went around the country this year removing typographical errors from public signs have been banned from national parks after vandalizing a historic marker at the Grand Canyon.

Jeff Michael Deck of Somerville, and Benjamin Douglas Herson, of Virginia Beach, Va., pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court in Flagstaff after damaging a rare, hand-painted sign in Grand Canyon National Park.

They were sentenced to a year's probation, during which they cannot enter any national park, and were ordered to pay restitution.

Authorities said Deck and Herson, both 28, toured the United States from March to May, wiping out errors on government and private signs.

------------------------------------------------------

I love a man so dedicated to good grammar, even though my practice on ths blog is less than stellar. Checking coworkers' typos takes up half my day. And seriously? Calling their organization the "Typo Eradiaction Advancement League?" Swoon.

The City Seen

We were in The Boston Globe on Tuesday, August 19th.

Current Obsession

Any thing of this variety

It's 6

via gChat

Beth: ok, what time are you going to leave? like 6??

me: probably

me: whatever 11-5 is

Beth: that is 5!!!

Beth: jk, that is 6!!

me: 11 - (subtract) 5 is 6

me: omg

me: i cant wait to see your dupey ass

Appropriate Workplace Conversation

via gChat

me: i have to fart so bad but there are actually other coworkers in my office today

me: and since april is no longer online 24/7 i feel lost when these thoughts go through my head

me: i am glad you are here

Beth: hahahah my mom is next to me

A Thursday off

If I feel like sitting on the couch eating golden grahams on a sunny Thursday, I feel like sitting on the couch eating golden grahams on a sunny Thursday.

Oxygen

via gChat
Casey: the people who work in china always pick american names and the other day one of them goes "ok, I've picked a really unique name - still american but really unique"

Casey: and he chose Bob

me: hahahahahahahahaha

me: that is awesome

me: what else do they pick

me: does he somehow put an r where it doesnt belong

me: like brob?

Casey: and then someone else chose Oxygen

me: oxygen? did you laugh

Casey: and no one told him/her that oxygen isnt a name

Barron and the Gym

An afternoon at our apartment:

Barron: I used to listen to Prodigy at the gym.

Me: Since when have you ever been to a gym?

Barron: How do you think I got these? (Kisses biceps)

Commercial on TV: I take fun seriously.

Barron: I take fudge seriously too!

Me: She was talking about fun.

Barron: Oh, I thought she said fudge.

RIP Chef!

Sweeney Todd pt. 2

Leave it to Sweeney Todd to give me a crush on Sasha Baron Cohen. Nothing to do with his middle name. But seriously. Pictures like these could put him ahead of the game in my Johnny Depp obsessed life.

CONFESSION: I miss my college JD posters more than I would like to admit.

Sweeney Todd

Barron and I rented Sweeney Todd on Netflix. I can't understand a freaking word anyone is saying, but my love for Johnny Depp remains.

Lebowski Fest

I know this is a weird goal, but I really hope to attend Lebowski Fest someday. I also aspire to own the tenth-anniversary dvd which comes out on September 9th complete with bowling ball packaging. Be still my heart. They had one in NYC a few years back, perhaps they will again soon?

http://www.biglebowskidvd.com/

From Craigslist

Poor Caterpillar.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/wch/tix/786368442.html

Bisco tour dog (Black Lab) for your Trey Anastasio Brooklyn extra - $130 (Scarsdale)

---

Reply to: sale-786368442@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-06, 11:32PM EDT


This is really a tough decision for me, but I have a Black Labrador named Caterpillar that I'm willing to part with for a ticket to Trey Anastasio's show at Music Hall of Williamsburg in Brooklyn on Thursday night. Caterpillar has never been to a Phish show -- I've never been to a Phish show either, because I am 21 -- but he has stayed in the car for a couple of Trey shows and been with me, non-stop, on Disco Biscuits tour for the past three years. Caterpillar knows the layout of Camp Bisco so well that he was singlehandedly able to lead me back to my tent in the middle of a number of trying incidents at CB7. (I had never done mescaline before. Never again.) Caterpillar also has been tough enough to survive after eating a number of crystals.

Anyways. This Trey show is really important to me, as it is in the vicinity of my birthday and I feel a near-tantric connection with Trey after watching the Walnut Creek DVD I bought yesterday. I have only $130 to my name at present and this has not been enough to score me a ticket. My parents will not help out on this one. They pay for my SUNY tuition and have recently set a cap on my jamband-related expenditures.

So. I am willing to part with Caterpillar if you are willing to part with a Trey ticket. Like I said, I feel that i MUST be there. I am ready to make the drive down from Scarsdale as soon as I get word from you. Caterpillar is worth at least $225, which is the lowest asking price right now on Stubhub, and I will throw in his dishes, collar and some frisbee golf discs he likes. He is up to date with his shots.

Please help me out on this. And if there is some kind soul out there who will sell for $130, and allow me to keep my dog, I will figure out a way to find six more dollars and buy that person a beer once I'm inside.

Thank you, namaste and Harpua,

- Chase

(This is a photo of Caterpillar from this past Christmas.)

Paris Hilton's energy policy

I don't know if you guys saw Paris' rebuttal to John McCain, but am I the only person that thought her stance on energy actually made a little sense?

Retarded Dog - The smartest thing on I Love Money

An innovative ad strategy

Band practice

Barron claimed he took of the day yesterday to hang out with me. He had John over by 3 for band practice. I guess I don't mind since I got dinner out of the deal.

A nice poem for new Red Sox player Jason Bay

T’was the night before August and all through the Nation
the fans on their feet in a standing ovation
Ramirez -- the baby -- is off to L.A.
So who is this guy they call Jason Bay?

He bats from the right and throws that way too
And produces the home runs; he has 22
Will he ever be Manny? “Not a chance” might be true
But when he hits his first homah, we’ll all say “Manny who?”

He’ll protect our Big Papi and with Mike at his back
He’ll make up for what with Ramirez we lack:
Good defense in left field, base-running skill too
And he’ll run out the grounders unlike you-know-who

If you look at the stats, Bay’s a star on the rise
While Manny – his stature – is shrinking in size
Just look at the stats. Can you guess who is who?

AVG. HR RBI OBP SLG
Player 1: .282 22 64 .375 .519
Player 2: .299 20 68 .398 .529
(I’ll give you a hint: Good-Bye Player 2!)

With the A’s due in town, get the offense on track!
But will Papi and Bay will be a formidable attack?
At the end of the day brings an unnerving truth:
Yes, Papi and Manny were like Gehrig/Ruth

So here’s some advice from a local Sox fan
Please try to get it right if you can:
Say “Wall”; not “Green Monster”
Pronounce “Pahk” with no “R”
Produce like you’ve been doing and you’ll be a star.

The “bleachers” are in right field
Pesky’s Pole’s “down the line”
Say “I hate the Yankees” and you’ll fit in just fine.

-Mike Savio

So long and thanks for all the hits...

Q: What was I doing Thursday night at midnight?

A: Working

This is the house floor. Pretty much where all the magic happens. I know it looks exciting. Sorry it is so blurry!